Present

This morning I awake present. As if over night a veil lifted, allowing the sun to beam through the window illuminating our bedroom like a broadway stage, honing my attention on the faintest notes I don't want to miss. This is what it feels like to let the daylight permeate my pores... To lay in bed and breathe every ounce of another being in. Like a vivid dream, I piece my sleep-laden reality back together with heart-soaked gratitude and observe the simple perfection of the moment: Mother waking with babe at her side. Permitting the cellphone with its notifications to rest. Allowing the coffee beans to patiently await their grind. Letting the demands of the day stall. In clear honey-soaked light we look at each other, wordlessly speaking, expressing how happy we are to be in each other's presence. His tender hands searching for nourishment, I free my breast from soft black cotton and surrender to that first latch. Beckoned back into my body I return home, just as my babe done. The times I'd been here but also somewhere else fade away completely... In this moment, this is all there is. I let go of the guilt of not having done enough... Of the anxiety that none of this will last. Here in my body nourishing my babe, I observe my thoughts as a mixtape I may pause at any moment to give way to the beauty of the peaceful presence that underlies our immaculately beautiful life. Here in this moment I release the fear of waking up to my little boy suddenly being two, and before I know it 22, wondering where all the time went. Here in this mindful presence, I know I can just be, always here, for him.

Village Journalist,

Monica

Krystal DonovanComment